Emergancy rooms and Gods Grace

I bet you're all wondering where my post for the "I Am His Beloved" series went, huh?

I had plans for finishing it up and posting it yesterday,

but instead.......

Jon, JJ, my parents and I were driving the 2 hours up to no-mans-land to visit B-nana and Gigi (my grandparents).

On the ride up there JJ started to get a little bit warm,  It wasn't that bad at that time and he is teething, so we weren't terrible worried.

After arriving at B-nana and Gigi's, his fever shot up.

Bad.

He felt horrible.

We felt horrible for him.

He rested, ate a little...and the fever dropped down enough for him to feel good about getting up and do some running around.

Then it hit again.

Harder.

He fell asleep for about 30 minutes.

When he started to wake up, I went to pick him up, and at that very moment he began to have a seizure.

It lasted about 1-2 minutes, but if felt more like 10.

His little eyes were so worried at the beginning, he was lucid enough to know something was wrong with him, and he wanted me to help.

The seizure soon put him into a lethargic state, and by the end of it, he was turning a bit blue.

I can not describe to you the feeling of absolute helplessness I had at that moment.

Pleading with God to save my baby, not knowing what the outcome might be.

We had called 911 and the paramedics were on their way, but we were about 1 hour from the nearest (big) city.  They made it in 20 min.

We kept cool rags on him trying to get his temp down, he was a little responsive by this point.  Enough for us to know that he was at least breathing well.

But still, those were the longest moments of our lives.

About half way through the ambulance ride, he became aware of where he was.  And yes, JJ thought it was pretty cool that he was riding in a "woo woo"!

The hospital only kept us for about two hours since he was doing much better by the time we actually got to the hospital.  The doctor just wanted to observe, but are confident it was just a  febrile seizure.  Nothing more to worry about.

JJ was such a trooper!

He's our little superman, you know.

 

No matter the severity, it was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.  As JJ doesn't have a bad medical history, we really haven't had to deal with much of this type of thing.  My hearts go out to those mama's who have to deal with this often, those feeling of helplessness and an utter loss of control as you watch your baby suffer, wishing that you could take their place.  I can't imagine.

I thank the Lord for having his hand on our baby boy through this, protecting him and healing him. 

It is so hard to let go, to know that no matter the outcome, God is in control.  To trust in the Lord with your whole heart, because your momminess wants to jump in and make everything all right. 

I can't say I am not more fearful  now,  and I have a feeling that that is something God is going to have to work me through.  Because, right now, I am going to want JJ to sleep in our bed until he is 8, just so I can keep an eye on him.  I guess that is where the whole trusting God thing comes in, isn't it.

Last night and today we are sleeping in shifts.

JJ needs 24 observation for a little while, just to be safe.

We appreciate any prayers, now that the adrenaline is wearing off and the reality of what our last 24 hours has looked like is setting in.

PRAISE GOD FOR HIS LOVING GRACE!