{ I'm sorry God }

Yes, I am still a sucky blogger, rub it in why don'tcha.

In other, less obvious news:
my lovely little family spent the majority of last week hugging the toilet. 
So glad thats over.
AND, as a result, I reserve the right never to shop at Grocery Outlet again.
I hate it.
It makes me feel yucky.
The one in this town sucks
and...
we have gotten sick the last 3 times we have gone.

So thats it.

I'm done.

In other other news (and slightly better at that):
Jon brought me a latte today. 
So that pretty much made my day.
Don't judge...I can stop any time I so choose.
I just don't choose to do so at this time.
Oh, and that also means he his super cool.

Life is moving along swimmingly, its a pity we still don't know to where!
(please insert frustrated ton here!)
Jon got all spiffied up today just in case an interview should present itself in the near future. 
And yes, we are still crossing our fingers!

I keep coming back to learning the same lesson...and I'm pretty sure God is laughing at me every time.  I find it so hard to find the balance between talking to God about what I think I want and telling God to do something, sometimes it comes out sounding like "God, I really want ____________, but your will be done."

and He chuckles, I know it.

I imagine its something like:

"Kid, haven't he been down this road before? Perhaps 5, 10, 900 times?  Haven't I always come through? Haven't you always gotten an answer? And haven't I always taken care of you on every little step along the way?  Don't you know that I already have this all worked out for your greater good? So, really, just sit back and and enjoy the ride, I got this!"

To which I reply: "Ya, but God.....I just......I WANT thisssssss!  You really should do it this way, I'm pretty sure it would be best! But...your will be done, Lord."

"Alyssa..."

"Yes God?"

"I said I've got this."

"Ya, I know....but God, I think...."

"Alyssa...."

"Um....yes God..."

"I said I've got this."

"Okay God, I know."

"Do you remember what it says in Proverbs?"

"uhm...."

"Its says you plan your ways, but I direct your steps"

"......"

"And in Matthew I tell you not to worry about tomorrow, because today has enough problems of its own."

"So your saying...?"
"I'm saying that you should know by now that you can let go, trust me with everything because I do KNOW and WANT whats best for you! Its all planned out, but you have got to let go and let me do it."

"Okay God....I'm really sorry."



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Or at least, something like that.

Evidently God is a question talker (name that show!).

Such a silly war with myself.
Sometimes people can be thick headed.
I'm people.



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