Fear

I've been struggling what to write about today.
I've been reading lots of other blog post about loss and heartache lately.
Our family and friends have experienced pain and loss.
We, ourselves, have dealt with fear.

I think that fear is something that is humanly natural with motherhood.  We fear for our children, even though we want them to have a great life.  We fear for them, not wanting any pain or strife to come their way...but knowing it will.  We want them to grow, to be wise, but don't necessarily want them to have the experiences that would get them there.

I think its just part of it all.

Our human responses to parenting.

However, its a bit more complicated for those of us living our lives for Christ, I think.
I struggle with being torn between my motherly human reaction and my child of Christ response. 
I fear, but I know God is in control.
I worry, but know He tells me not to.
I fret, knowing that I'm not in control anyway...and really there is nothing I could do.

I know my son is in the hands of the Savior.
I know my heavenly father has a plan for my sons life.
I know that that very life is in His hands.

I know....

But I feel fear when my child's temp spikes and theres nothing I can do. 
I felt fear when I saw my child turn blue in my arms.
I feel fear when I think about God knowing what we can handle....and maybe testing us in that.

But, fear is a earthly response to a heavenly situation.
I fear because I don't know the outcome. 
I fear because I don't have a say.

"...FOR GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER  AND OF LOVE AND OF SOUND MIND."

 2 TIMOTHY 1:7

"LOVE HAS BEEN PERFECTED AMONG US IN THIS:  THAT WE MAY HAVE BOLDNESS IN THE DAY OF JUDGMENT; BECAUSE AS HE IS, SO ARE WE IN THIS WORLD.  THERE IS NO FEAR IN LOVE; BUT PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR, BECAUSE FEAR INVOLVES TORMENT.  BUT HE WHO FEARS HAS NOT BEEN MADE PERFECT IN LOVE." 

1 JOHN 4:17-18

By fearing the unknown, it is safe to say I am hindering the Lords work in my life.  Fearing things isn't from the Lord.  The word fear, in these verses, can also be translated timidity and speaks of a cowardly, shameful fear caused by being weak.  How harshly does that hit home. 

If I am fearing because I do not know the future,

because I can't make everything "okay"...

well that means I am being weak

and that I am hindering myself from "being made perfect in love".

His love.

PARDON ME, WHILE I PREACH AT MYSELF:p